Thursday, May 18, 2006

Losing sight of the goal


So, I'm in a really boring meeting right now and I got a piece of really incomprehensible spam. Don't worry, I won't forward it to you, but I did take a screenshot. This is really actually pretty interesting. Now, I understand that direct mail is a valid (albeit occasionally annoying) form of marketing, but what is this? Frankly, I'm not sure I even understand what it is telling me (maybe I need to learn more about erectile dysfunction medication). So, am I not smart enough to understand crappy spam? I don't think it is foeign language. So, why are they sending this to me? I understand that they are not expecting a 100% response rate but does ANYONE respond to this??? Why would they? What does it actually mean? Did some marketing "exec" look at this copy and say "Wow, this is gonna be one of our best marketing campaigns ever, I can't wait to get a lot of new customers from this!!!"

It really sort of begs the question of why would you try to circumvent spam filters? If someone has a filter in place, doesn't that mean they don't want an email and then in turn they don't want your product? In which case, why bother them? I'd be fascinated to see their response rates from these sort of emails. At this point though, it almost seems like a compulsion. It is as if they have lost sight of why they were trying to do it in the first place. It makes me wonder if I've lost sight of goals. Am I just running on compulsion even if it seems as incomprehensible to the outside world as this email seems to me. Probably not. Water anyone?

In light of the recent destruction of Blue Security. It actually makes me wonder if this is really just a war. We've all seen Underworld (or Fox News). Wars go on and the warriors often don't even know why, they just fight because at some point someone told them to fight. Spam was useful at some point but it really seems to have outlived its usefullness. Someone paid for it at one point. The big difference is that I think the spammers now do it as a matter of pride. They aren't expecting anyone to respond, they just want to see if the email can get through. They are a type of Ronin (masterless Spamurai who were told to fight and now do it for pride, ego, and lack of anything better to do).

All of that aside, the real question is what the hell is up with that poem at the bottom?!?!?!? Here's my theory: Gwyneth is an aspiring poet stuck in the dead end job of spamming. One day she realizes that no one reads the spam anyway so she can include her poetry and BAM, she is "published" :)

Meeting's over, I can get back to work now.

20 comments:

ewitch said...

I for one agree with your spam theory. There needs to be a Spammers Anonymous.

Your Dad said...

SPAMMERS ARE VICTIMS
I think that spammers have all been tricked into paying big bucks to attend a 3-day seminar on "How to Spam" or "How to rescue wealthy but impotent and/or nervous men from behind their spam filters" ("become a cyber-ninja paramedic").
The spammers will never make any money, never get ANYone to reply ---but the evil people who run the SpamSeminars have exploited these poor unfortunates.
I'm sorry I ever paid that $10K to attend a "Nigerian attorney needs a descrete, trustworthy parner" retreat!

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